Final Goodbye to a Narcissist

A "Breakup" Poem, to close that book permanently before using it as Fuel to Grow & Prosper **TRIGGER WARNING** If U cannot handle Domestic Violence- Do NOT Read this.

I wrote this poem in December of 2017 after (thinking, believing even, that I had healed) almost a year free of the mental prison I had allowed myself to be buried in. I know I had a soul contract with this man & he was a “Twin Flame” in the true definition of that relationship.¹ We had originally met at 13 & he was my first “boyfriend” until we were both 16- on & off as we were both in the fostercare system & got moved around alot. We eventually parted ways permanently until the wonderful creation that is called social media (that FBook thing to be precise). 24 years later we remeet & seems like we picked right up where we left off- Um Yea No, some people have had great experiences with reuniting with an “old flame,” Me… not so much. During our “growth” of 24 years he had made alot of choices that weren't turning him into a better man, or in some aspects a man at all. Anyway, another year and a half of being involved with him was a year & a half of Alcoholism, Narcissism, Degradation, being Cheated On, & finally Abuse. And yes I take full responsibility for my part played in this entire interaction. By the time it was all said & done, I have a permanent ridge in the top of my skull (which is approximately 3 inces long) from a microwave being slammed full force down on top of me & he has somewhere around 100+ scars all over his body from where my fingernails left trenches gouged out of the flesh of his gut & where (after having 2 of my ribs cracked from his fist) I used his own car key to perforate his limbs & upper torso. (My lesson in this relationship was my reaction to violence perpetrated by a man who is almost a foot taller than me & at that time had about 40-50lbs on me & the seemingly neverending cycle of me getting myself into these “situationships” for ignoring the blatant red flags). I got this man out of my life in March of 2017 (or so I thought) & then he became my stalker & I ended up having to do something which I despise- I eventually had to get a restraining order against him & I absolutely hate getting anyone else involved in my personal life. So in May of 2017 I was finally free of him & began my healing journey. And this poem was born for the laughs of absurdity:

Ur nothing more than a pathetic hoe, a dirty trick.

A real woman doesn't want public property with a community dick.

As old as U are & U still haven't learned?

It ain't cute to be gettin burned.

Already 42 with at least 7 biological & probably more on the way.

Tried to ride witchu thru all the fucked up times but u couldn't see to change,

So now I'm on my own in life & all I can do is pray,

that maybe one day u might grow the fuck up, learn ur worth & stop bein a stray.

Man up & take care of ur seeds, b4 they grow up & it's too late.

Break the chains, slay ur demons, & stop the hate.

You’d be a good man if u left the past behind u, stop lookin in ur rearview & focus on what's in front of u.

I loved u from the age of 13 & that'll never stop, even tho u stole my soul & tried to break my heart-

I'm good now tho, cuz I don't dwell in the pain & anguish-

I found my peace again in focusing on growth & progress.

I look ahead to a brighter future, tho sometimes I do sit & reminisce,

I know now it was all just a dream- U never really existed.

Just another teenage love story, Ghosts Revisited.

1. Twin Flame is not what mass & social media have pretended it to be- it is a Valuable experience, however NOT 1 that can or will bring u joy- at least not in the moment- it is the Catalyst for a Tower Moment, as your TF, mirrors your soul and forces u to do your shadow work or lose your mind in the breakdown process. Once U have gone thru this experience & Graduated, U will then at some point be healed & able to attach some form of sarcastic or self-deprecating humor to this & looking back should be a proud moment for realizing u grew from this experience & are now wiser & stronger for it.