Nobody Is Coming To Save U

A harsh reality that isn't taught in Our Society today

I’ve gone through this lifetime, having learned a crucial lesson as a small child. That lesson being; Nobody (& I do mean, Not a Single Other Soul) is coming to “Save” U from anything in this life. It truly doesn't matter what the situation is, how young or old u are, your gender, religous affiliation, financial status, or any other categorization u deem relevant. It's a harsh reality but a Reality none the less. The next thing I'm about to say, U (the reader) will probably find offensive, but in all honesty this is the Exact reason behind, ‘Natural Selection.’¹ Or in other words ‘Survival of the Fittest’. Don't get me wrong, other humans may help u but only once u have initiated the process of saving yourself. In almost half a century on this planet I have faced many hardships and every single time I have clawed my way back up out of the gutter on my own. In that same timeframe I have been witness to literally thousands (by this point) of people who will allow life to run rampant all over them & crush them into oblivion, while waiting; for help that never comes, for a savior, for whatever- just Waiting.

I was twelve years old when I finally realized- NOBODY was coming. At twelve I had already endured more in this life than the average thirty year old American (I speak of what I know & I am well aware that most other countries citizens aren't afforded most of the luxuries that we are here). I had endured 12 long years of severe physical, mental, and emotional abuse, along with 8 years of sexual abuse and at least 2 years of food scarcity (due to my parents deeming Crack {Cocaine- in a cooked up smokable form, for anyone who is not familiar with the term} more important than groceries, rent, or bills)- all from the hands of my very own biological parents (I do not like referring to them as parents because that paints a picture in most people's mind that there was familial value- There Wasn't). As a small child I was always the outsider in school, I was the kid who didn't get invited to anything because by the time I was in 2nd grade All of my classmates knew I wasn't allowed to go anywhere, as well as being socially awkward due to 99% of my interactions being with adults. By the time I hit 5th grade I was withdrawing from pretty much everything, and ‘Graduated’ with straight F’s. I did actually graduate to the 6th grade due to my school principal stating, “I am promoting your daughter for 2 reasons, 1. her test scores are off the charts, and 2. she didn't do the work the first time, she obviously won't do it the 2nd time around, so it would be a waste of everybody's time to retain her in the 5th grade,” to my incubator. This was also the same timeframe that I truly began studying all of the other humans around me and began to realize, NOBODY else lived the way I was being raised, no other child came to school with bruises covering over half their body (regularly), no other child suffered Regular urinary tract infections. While, yes as an adult I do realize there probably were plenty of other children dealing with these same things, it wasn't so for the kids that I was in class with. I finally realized This Wasn't Normal. And at 10 years old I began trying to find someone to save me. I had plenty of secretive conversations with adults I knew and very quickly learned, I wasn't the only one who was scared shitless of my father, apparently he had that effect on just about anyone who knew him. There was good reason for this though- he was a sadistic and violent man and literally (in the true definition of the word) a psychopath. At 11 years old I began the process of Saving myself, when I informed my school guidance counselor Mr. Tiernan, that I needed to speak to a trustworthy woman because I was going through something that I couldn't talk to him about. He brought a friend of his into my counseling sessions who was a Director at the local Boys & Girls Club, Kathy Wagner. Kathy made it her mission to help me & she did. I am grateful to have had her in my corner, but never had the chance to tell her that. By 12, I absolutely couldn't take anymore abuse & made the decision to tell Kathy about the abuses in full detail, she immediately got D.C.Y.S. (Department of Children and Youth Services) involved (what I didn't know back then is anyone who works in the Human Service field is a Mandated Reporter). I was interviewed at school (unknown to my parents) & told the D.C.Y.S. worker a summary of my childhood. The worker promised me that they wouldn't tell my father what I had stated in the interview due to my informing her that my father had told me on many occasions while growing up, that, “If anyone tries to take my freedom, I will torture them slowly, ensuring to keep them alive while inflicting excruciating pain for years before finally letting them die,” then proceeded to list off & describe in full detail different torture techniques which he had learned of while in Vietnam, that had been perpetrated on P.O.W.s. Unfortunately for me, I also learned at 12 years old that Adults lie all the damn time especially to children and U Can't Trust Anydamnbody!! The D.C.Y.S. worker told my father verbatim all of the atrocities I had experienced & told her about, all with him sitting directly across the table from me. Of course as a scared child, I immediately told him, “They're lying!! I never said anything like that!!” About an hour later, I was being taken to my first foster home.

At 12 years old I Learned Nobody is Coming to Save U & honestly that was the best thing I could have learned at an early age, I have Never waited for a Savior for any other event in this life & it's truly been a Blessing. Like I said earlier, I repeatedly watched other people just Waiting, while things get worse and worse for them. I've never had the luxury of falling back on the statement, “I Can't…” I tell people all the time “I can't” isn't in my vocabulary, if something needs to be done, I simply do it. I'm Not Waiting for Anyone.

1. Merriam-Webster, Incorporated

natural selection

noun

: a natural process that results in the survival and reproductive success of individuals or groups best adjusted to their environment and that leads to the perpetuation of genetic qualities best suited to that particular environment