I Heard A Whisper
When Intuition & Hindsite Collide
Emasculating Men, Apparently I've been a master of this not particularly cute skillset most of my life. It wasn't a deliberate action, not by any stretch of the imagination.
On the other hand I can't truly sit here and take all the credit; I mean realistically once I explain what this is all about, I believe most would agree that if these ‘Men’ (who had been witness to me talking to my sons) were set into their Divine Masculine, if they truly knew themselves, they probably would not have been effected by the circumstances that were at play. Or at least I don't feel they should have been. Maybe that's my ego speaking, not wanting full responsibility for the ‘damage’ done.
I really don't know which way is the correct perspective, and since I have a fairly large following of My Peoples here on these Stacks, who are Men, I would really appreciate y’all opinions. That is of course after U read thru what I'm about to share here. So:
to name a few, and anyone else who feels apt to chime in. I will warn anyone else who wasn't asked specifically for their opinion, Be Respectful in what U have to say- period. I value everyone's opinion but anyone acts as if this is an invitation to talk shit, U will be shown the door with it slammed on your ass, No hard feelings tho cuz honestly Idgaf if anyone gets butthurt. Now onto the subject at hand…
The other day, I heard an Intuitive Whisper, I've been ‘Emasculating Men’ that I was in ‘relationships’ with pretty much my entire life.
Raising three sons by myself I overcompensated in a lot of ways, due to trying to turn 3 lil boys into men, without actually being a man myself and never having had a great example to base my rearing abilities on. When my oldest started getting to the point in his life where he was building a lil too much testosterone, he consistently attempted to take control of the house causing he & I bumped heads, A LOT. I was quite famous for immediately shutting down any battle he thought he wanted by very loudly (& for a lil female I do tend to have alotta base in my voice when I get pissed) reminding him that, “U are Not a man until U are the one keeping a roof over everyone's head, keeping the light & gas running, putting food on the table, & keeping clean clothes on everyones ass!! U will Not get the respect of being a man until that day comes, and until U are the one taking care of All that- I'm the muthafuckin Head Nigga In Charge!! I'm the fuckin Man of this house Cuz I'm the One who takes care of Everybody!!”
**My Question is Regarding that statement to my sons- Could that have Emasculated a ‘Man’ (Not My Sons- They have turned out to be Great Husbands & Fathers) who was witnessing that interaction??**
And this very loud Aggressive reminder could and would be given the minute my son pissed me off regardless of who else may or may not be around. Subsequently I've often found myself trying to figure out how in the hell I meet, become friends with, start talkin to a dude who for all outward appearances is a ‘Man’ but somewhere down the line a few months or even a year into a relationship, we apparently ‘switch’ roles. And ‘he’ inevitably becomes an extra mouth to feed, an extra human to be taken care of- no longer the provider, & soon after no longer the protector (if not previously)- Aaaand that's when/where I lose interest & tell a mufucka to kick rocks. So curiosity has gotten the better of me. I feel the need for Mens opinions on this. Is the way I raised my sons the sole reasoning as to why this would be my responsibility for ‘Emasculating the Men’ I got involved with or is it a shared responsibility in that, if they were Sure of themselves in the first place, they wouldn't or couldn't have been effected by this??
I've been getting a whole fuck ton of those ‘ah-hah’/lightbulb moments these past couple weeks, others would refer to them as downloads, or the picture just became crystal clear, or ‘connecting the dots’- regardless of what U are comfortable calling it, my terminology is, “My Spirit Team has been poppin me upside the head with alotta life lessons & spiritual info lately & Yes I'm catching the messages!!” Anyway, that's it for this one, & Yes I Really am asking for Y’All opinions. Also this doesn't mean only Men, but their opinions on this particular subject are more useful at this time, tho there are quite a few Women on here whose opinions I value Greatly as well- its just not really, “Our Ball park” if U follow😉😉 Mad Love & Blessings for All Y’All🥰🥰👑👑💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿🌴🌴
I can’t imagine the difficulty in raising 1 son alone let alone 3 so my hats off to you and sending prayers your way.
What I can say -as I’m raising a son, is that what’s built-in to boys is an alpha gene geared towards dominating. Sounds like you’re experiencing the joys of it. 😂 What’s NOT built-in is the knowledge in how to direct that energy. I have this conversation with my wife often as she is starting to see the signs of our young son seeking ways to “challenge” her. Single moms usually have to overcompensate to match energy because they’re physically at a disadvantage. Boys eventually pick up on this. I knew at young age I could take my mom but that meant I would have to also take my dad -a losing proposition. But I also had and a certain level of respect in that she was my mom and she was a woman and only a pathetic loser of an @ss would put hands on their mom.
I think your words are correct, but how you train will be incredibly important. Your boys will know when you’re overcompensating. I knew when my mom did it. But how you say it in those non-heated moments will matter most.
I’ve mentored men who were raised by a single mom and they’ve all struggled with a combination of understanding what it means to be a man, sexual identity issues, how to care for a woman, and addictions which become coping mechanisms because they feel lost. There’s a complex dynamic between fathers and their sons. Mothers have the same thing but with their daughters. This doesn’t mean the situation is hopeless. If you understand the “potential” future impacts then you can work towards minimizing them -placing them in activities or scenarios that can help develop them as leaders with male mentors stewarding them a bit.
I applaud you for being so attuned because many single mothers are not. Many refuse to believe that they cannot fulfill the role of a father. I think one of the best things you can do is reach out to fathers and inquire. Which you are doing and is a highly respectable thing to do! This is probably way more than you asked for but I hope this helps a little bit. ❤️👊🏾
"The other day, I heard an Intuitive Whisper, I've been ‘Emasculating Men’ that I was in ‘relationships’ with pretty much my entire life."
No, Reina... you have not.
See, you do not have the power to 'emasculate' anyone... unless they hand you that power themselves, which means - ironically - they already came into the relationship emasculation-ready. In other words? It would not be your fault.
And how a single-mother chooses to raise her children should have had no bearing on a relationship between a man and woman anyhow - you clearly knew what was best for your boys, and if a man could not accept that - much less NOT be emasculated by it? He wasn't the man for you, or really any woman with a shred of self-respect. And since you have that in spades?
Yeah, from my perspective... you're good :-) Hope this helps, my friend...