Final Goodbye to a Narcissist, The Beginning of the End...

Pt 2. of My Miniseries- the Mental & Emotional Rollercoaster ride of breaking free from a Narcissist's hold on my Soul, which eventually led me to a Spiritual Breakthrough (aka a Tower moment)

I am not going to start this off by rehashing all of the backstory of this experience- for that U will have to go back & Read the other parts (of the same title)…..

I will give U this much tho; this was My high & low points on the road to recovery of becoming whole again (or more precisely for the 1st time in my life) after dealing with a “Master” Narcissist. And I give him that title simply because he earned it- about the only thing he earned in this lifetime (at least to the point of him no longer being a part of my life) is how to be a complete & total douche and inflict severe pain upon people who are damaged enough to try to see passed his flaws & love him regardless. About the only other human I've come into contact with in my life, who was better at this than him was my very own sperm donor. And this would prove the theory that we as humans seek out a mate who is most like our parent of that same gender. I never liked that theory, & always objected to it even being plausible- however life has a funny way of layin the Smackdown on your ass just when u get overconfident, thinking you've got it all figured out.

The 1st fb post that I had written on the subject of him was this: April 28th 2017

One year ago- thought I was honestly happy- fought so hard for 6 months, November 2016 thru the end of March 2017 to hold on to that delusion I was living in- & now I've come to realize that while I don't regret loving his ignorant ass, I do resent the fact that I allowed him to str8 up waste a year & a half of my life based on bullshit promises of a future that would never exist. I am rising back up tho & I am goin str8 to the top- I will always remember those who have had my back when I was at my lowest & continued to smile with me on every new achievement.

During this same timeframe, I already was dealing with him stalking me at every turn; I blocked him on social media- he'd come at me from other peoples pages, I changed my phone number- he started emailing me🙄🙄 like bro are u fkn serious?? Move tf on with your life already!!

With the advice of 1 of my sons & 1 of my lil brothers, I finally started the ugly process of getting a restraining order because I just wanted to get on with my life. As of May 9th, 2017 I was granted a full on Stay Away/Restraining Order after he decided to show his ass in court & argue with the judge as to exactly what info the judge needed- we never made it passed names & addresses stated for the record. Tho not before I learned that this man had 9 other (NINE) Restraining Orders against him from Previous Relationships!! U know, we’ve got Registries for all kinds of other shit but Nobody has ever thought that just maybe if someone is a Repeat offender in abusive behavior towards other humans, They Should be on a Public Information list!!

Besides writing, another form of the arts I've always utilized as a means of therapy is music. So I found several songs which I played relentlessly on repeat & belted out the words to, as loud as I could & still be in key. This is a short list of those songs & maybe U will find some therapeutic value in them as well:

Yellow Claw

Snow tha Product

Snow tha Product

Eamon

Keisha Cole

Mary J Blige

Mary J Blige

Moving forward to June 17th was my next post:

I am grateful for all of the blessings that I have in my life & everything is falling into place but I'm still missing that one thing….. True Companionship- haven't had that in my life, honestly since my kids were babies. Been in relationships that are always 1 sided- I invest in mufuckas that don't truly deserve my time & then comes the time when I get sick of the bs & cut the tumor outta my life. I'm truly starting to believe Ima be dolo for the rest of my life, married to my work & just have my kids & grandkids for company cuz there really ain't no single dudes left out there who actually want to be in a real relationship with 1 woman to enjoy life with.

Then on June 24th (his birthday) I made (posted) him a birthday card, lol. This is that Card:

Sitting here in quiet solitude, reminiscing on days gone by. The day u came back into my life u sold me a fairytale dream & I bought it, but u knew I would cuz u knew all along how damaged my life had been. U are a cold & calculating egotistical boy in the body of a man with the ability to lie convincingly, even to urself. U are an abusive man, so u never thought u would meet ur match in a female who had once upon a time been so broken to where she seemed beyond repair. In all of the pain & destruction u brought thru my door, u never imagined this female could be strong enough to stand alone & fight back & hold her own against u. U should ultimately be thankful that I am capable of handling what comes my direction cuz if I would have called for help or posted pix online, of the condition u left me in, u wouldn't have survived thru the week- see I make it a habit of rollin dolo & holdin my own but that doesn't mean that I am alone or that nobody cares. Ur narcissistic ass should really stop preying on “damaged females” cuz sooner or later 1 of them will be at their breaking point & Karma will have her way with U. It's funny too, after all U put me thru, I don't wish harm on U- I never have been the one to hold onto hatred- I meant every word when I said, “I forgive U.” I do however hope & pray u will not continue putting ur misery off on every female u come into contact with cuz that really makes u a pathetic waste of air & space. I'm finally ok again- hell, I'm better than ok- I'm Great. So I have to say, Thank u for finally exiting my life even tho u had no conviction to leave, until I was set free from u by the state. This is my final farewell to u- so wishing U a happy birthday cuz from here forward u no longer exist. U were just a nightmare that I finally woke up from, & I will no longer take ur memories with me.

My experience was in dealing with a Narcissistic Man, however make No Mistake- nowadays with all the fuckery going on in this 3D world- Narcissistic Women are less recognized but just as lethal (if not worse) & if U are a Man dealing with a Narcissistic Woman, my advice to U is the same as anyone else: PLEASE VALUE YOUR OWN LIFE ENOUGH TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT DEMONIC PIECE OF SHIT.

Hope this piece of the puzzle that is Me brings somebody the Peace they need & the Ability to BREATHE. Until next time, Mad Love, Respect, & Blessings to Each & Every One of U🥰🥰💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿