So Ready...

The shit-show's been Real

Today has felt a lil strange to say the least. I had a few dollars, when I left shelter this a.m. after having to bare witness to the umpteenth fight this week, to go do all my wash. I decided to treat myself to a real cup of coffee, even tho it's $2 for a colada (which is about a 3-4oz cup of str8 espresso- or “Cuban coffee” if U are a local), before continuing my 28 or so block troop to the laundromat I like. I’m kind of feeling as if tomorrow is my bornday, because even tho I've been trying brand new things since getting on that Greyhound May 15th, tomorrow truly feels like the 1st Day of My New Life, My True Rebirth. It's hard to explain why this particular day/event feels so special. Due to the fact that I have been experiencing tower moment after tower moment only interrupted briefly by Ascension after Ascension, it would probably seem to anyone else as if it's simply “another one.” Honestly, I think it feels even more special because of how intensely negative the whole vibe has gotten at the shelter. In spite of that tho, I've still managed to build some pretty strong bonds & receive recognition from not only staff & Nuns, but several other clients as well, for being Me. It feels good to be Seen in a place where most go unnoticed as nameless/faceless “homeless” people. I was complimented this a.m. by a woman I have only heard cutting down all the problematic females. Trust me tho, she's not talking shit & anything she’s got to say she says it str8 out for those selected to be her topic of the moment, to hear. I was truly surprized when she turned her attention my way tho, she stated outright that she really likes me & that she can tell I’m a good person, because I leave everyone alone, stay outta the drama/chaos, & am always looking out for the pregnant ladi (1 of my friends) & the children in the shelter. Not to sound like a jerk but I’d gotten so used to hearing her speak about the troublemakers that I simply didn't think she would ever say anything positive about anyone.

After my position was confirmed last week, I went & purchased a pair of leather work gloves the minute I received a few dollars. I snatched a bucket (style) hat at goodwill for $2, and a few polo style workshirts came into donation that the staff immediately said I could have. Then last nite, my pregnant friend gave me a couple of pairs of khakis I can use for workpants which she has grown out of. I still have my Tims which I wore coming down here, Thankfully, I was actually planning to get rid of them- so I have workboots.

In my last piece, I told U how I made sure that the housing opportunity offered to me went to the ladi, I knew needed it. What I didn't tell U about that situation was, that's the same ladi that I had to get away from because she’s just too damn negative. I was disappointed because, I thought she was going to be a really good friend, but instead I had to cut her off. The reason I mention this is because, I want U to see, that just because U have to distance yourself from someone, doesn't mean U can't Bless them. Every person I have cut out of my life, I still Bless them regardless. Sometimes it takes longer, because depending on why I had to remove them I may not have come to the point where I can truly feel it in my heart. When I say “Bless them” it can be as simple as wishing them the best; just before, after, or during actively removing them from your life. I know a lot of people wouldn't agree with me, but this for me is how I wash my hands of the situation & cut all karmic ties with people. After that, I will actually get to the point where most I've completely forgotten about. Not even really sure why I felt the need to bring this up, I wasn't planning on speaking about it. Which leaves me believing, someone who reads this, needed to see that.

It’s crazy realizing that I have literally been in the shelter, ONLY 3 weeks!! It has felt like a whole lot longer, especially this past week. And yet again, so many people have passed thru my life in a very short time. I'm consistently in places where I meet an exorbitant amount of other humans and actually manage to interact with most of them. These last 2 weeks tho have seemed to just get progressively worse in the shelter, but true to being me, I observe the conflicts from the outside edges of all the chaos. I grew up in total chaos, I am really good at being right there but remaining unaffected by 99.99% of it. Funny shit is that even the ones who have problems with everyone else, give up trying to pluck my nerves when I just silently stare at them. I have no desire to engage the bullshit & as long as nobody gets stupid enough to try throwin hands there's no need to waste my energy on pathetic mufuckas who are stuck in their ego somewhere inside their own historical existence. I don't have the time or patience to deal with any of it, especially when I’ve got so much life to Live & I choose to Live it Peacefully.

I got to the library after washing my clothes, had my lunch of bread, cheese, & an avocado & started writing this piece. Some miserable ass dude in his 50s, walks in, spots a kid (20s?? maybe) & tries to bully thd kid. Well the kid fired up & chased him outside. The old guy kept steady talking shit the whole time as he was walking (more like speed walking) away. I really don't see the appeal in making yourself look like a pathetic bitch. I mean realistically there's gotta be some kind of appeal to it considering how many wannabe billy bad asses there are in this world.

Tomorrow I imagine I will be busy most of the day & then in need of a full nites sleep, before I start Sunday. I have a Kundalini Yoga appointment set for as soon as I’m left to my own devices tomorrow evening. I will most probably pop in from time to time, but I don't think I’ll really have time to be on tomorrow. I don't know yet which days will be my work schedule, but I do know my workday ends by 2pm most often. I'm nervously excited & 100% ready!! & Don't forget Tomorrow is My ReBirthday😉😉🥰🥰 Mad Love & Blessings to U All🥰🥰👑👑💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿🌴🌴

I do ask if U have the means & are guided by your heart to do so, consider becoming a paid subscriber for the 💥💥Special $44.75 Yearly💥💥 Mad Love & Blessings to All Y'all🥰🥰👑👑💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿🔥🔥🌴🌴