My Baby

She just wants to play

I almost missed her call. I wasn't catching her message. She's been overtired and needing rest & playtime again. The past week she's been on the verge of obnoxious and beligerante. She's literally been having minor temper tantrums and I didn't even realize what she was up to. It's almost 9pm as I sit in the darkened room feeling the cool night air breeze thru. I will not be finishing this tonite. I need to get My Lil 1 back on a bedtime routine. If U haven't figured out yet, who I am speaking of, she's my inner child. She's been on one lately and it's time I set things str8 for her again. It is honestly because I been screwing up, that she's been misbehaving. I've caught her & my shadow, then her & my higher self arguing several times this week and still it didn't sink in.

Every Rising she has gotten upset, not wanting to do anything, and while the other 2 were attempting to discipline her and get her to stop grumbling & whining about what she didn't wanna do, I was half observant, half oblivious.

I will have to pick this back up in the daytime, mañana. It's bedtime & all 4 of Me needs Sleep🥱🥱

Unfortunately I still didn't make it to bed at 9pm, got sucked into the energy draining scroll, not the same way most do but I managed to get into reading several other pieces, both in the Stacks & my email. I'm not complaining as the pieces which I read were all definitely worth my time & very much Appreciated. I do however, Seriously Need to get me back on a routine. I did get to bed around 10 which is better than the 11 or 12 that I've been at but it's still not enough. I still had to drag my ass outta bed this rising. My inner child has seemingly gone back to “School Daze,” U know when U were in elementary or middle school & your parent would tell U it's time to get up & get ready for school, U lay there, under your breath muttering, “I don't wanna”- yea that's where I been at lately. I still feel almost jet lagged from Decembers fiasco of a farm stay, then Januarys Winter Wonderland in FL, where It Shouldn't be. I'm tryna get my Rhythm back & I'm tired. My inner child wants to nap every afternoon lately. My hosts put the farm on the market so there's an uncomfortability every time someone comes to tour the place. Try to remember everything U may need while they're here, so U can go sit outside, while complete strangers walk around the property examining everything, in & out of every building, not putting shit back where they found it, so U have twice as much work to do to continue your day after they leave. Then my hosts had surprize family visit yesterday & they include me in their family, which again I Am Certainly Not complaining. My inner child however is a different story- she still doesn't like People-ing, and gets all worked up & anxious about having to be around humans we don't know in the hours leading up to the visit, all the while she is very verbal about it. So I was over here in my lil apartment yesterday, literally arguing amongst myselves for the first few hours of the day while begrudgingly getting ready. I honestly enjoyed the experience once I was there interacting with everyone. They are really genuinely kind & loving people who love sarcasm & joking around as much as I do. We had a wonderful dinner. Then later on I was back in my apartment & listening to a Beautiful Soul who I have been following on YT and it clicked. While I was aware of the outright arguments taking place frequently these past few days, I wasn't paying enough attention to it to acknowledge what or who it was.

After listening & catching the wake up call message within, I realized my inner child has been having these lil meltdowns because I haven't been Nurturing myself, staying up way too late at nite, then still getting up early & seemingly thinking I will continue to accomplish what I need to throughout the day. Literally setting myself up for failure with work and health. My inner child knew this, and was being a brat to attempt to make me pay attention and get some rest that we desperately need.

My inner child is also quite aware that we haven't been as active in Creativity as we should be, as of late, and that's the other half of the equation. As much as she just wants to lay down & rest, she also wants to sit around like a lump all day, reading & writing. I recently acquired a set of colored pencils and am anxious to use them, drawing/ sketching. Anything Art is calling me so loudly it's pulling at my Soul. Yesterday was fun tho, I made Homemade Real Ice Cream with all farm fresh Raw ingredients except for the cocoa & pecans. That was the 1st time I've made or eaten Real Fresh Raw Ice Cream & as per usual I didn't have all the exact ingredients the recipe called for so I had to get creative. It was a small outlet and a step in the right direction. Will Certainly be getting back on my Creator Wave a lot more again. And again that is something which requires proper rest.

In case U are interested in checking this out for yourself, as well here is the site I found that recipe on: Farmhouse on Boone

Internal warning systems are within all of us. Your Soul has set U up to succeed and whenever U stray off course U will get alarms in some form to reel U back in before U hit self destruct mode full on. It is however, Very Much Up To U & your Free Will as to whether or not U heed the warning. Mad Love & Many Blessings to U All🥰🥰👑👑💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿🌴🌴