Internal Battles

Matrix Fuckery Ego vs Higher Self Soul Knowledge

It was put into words…

Orion the Hunter🏹🏹 Sits right over top of my lil bunkhouse, and here the stars show crystal clear, most nites!!

This year has been intense at times, followed by moments of Peace. I have steadily listened to my internal guidance tho that is certainly not the easy road to take. We are so programmed, that listening to your “gut instinct” will almost always derive a knee jerk reaction of instant overabundance of anxiety. Throughout this journey of mine, I have shared with U all here many of my experiences as well as quite a bit of the internal symptoms/thoughts/feelings which come from or hand-in-hand with those experiences. I was aware from day 1 I was “taking the road less traveled” & got the stereotypical reaction from most other humans that is expected in these circumstances. Pure Fear in peoples eyes as they ask all of the questions they are supposed to. It always starts with a, “but….” followed by negativity & worst case scenarios. This is because, U are Now, Leaving the Safety of the Matrix, simply by going off script. Even people who I Love, Respect, and Cherish continually asked the panicked questions of; but Where will U go?? but What will U Do, if…?? but How will U ____ (fill in any life imperative U want here)?? Every one of these questions while containing genuine concern, were & are completely irrelevant and absolutely negative, stemming from the programming of the Matrix that living in slavery and bondage is somehow SAFE.

The past 2 days another Beautiful Soul who I have a whole fuck ton of Love & Respect for has put into words for me, a lot of what I have been growing thru with an astute internal knowledge, but a conscious daze or fog. I've been seemingly, just going thru the motions, or as I like to say, “going with the flow” all the while learning how strong my faith in Self & Source truly is.

Solarah

posts her Sunrise Salutations daily here on Substack, and even tho I feel a deep connection & quite a lot of synchronicities with 99.9% of her postings (every once in a blue, her message is not for me as we are all at different levels in our individual yet connected journeys & that is 100% perfectly ok!!), these last 2 days of Sunrise Salutations have put into words exactly what this year has been about for me. Do I know what the fuck I am doing, Where I am going, or How in thee Blue Hell I’m getting there?? Absofuckinglutely NOT!! But, I Do Know My Purpose Here, I Do Know My End Game, and that is All I Need to Know in this phase.

(I began writing this yesterday a.m. and was interrupted, then couldn't get my flow back, keep in mind Everything happens for a reason.)

We often forget - as we look around the material - that everything we see once never existed. Everything we now take for granted as a part of our day to day existences once began in the invisible realms. It once was hidden in the secrecy of another being’s heart and mind.

To those who don’t have access to the invisible visions we hold in our own hearts and minds, what we dream of bringing forth can seem inconceivable. However, it is only inconceivable to them because they are mistaking themselves for being limited by the rules created to keep us all bound and locked out of our creator mode.

We are being guided to see that all that exists in our world was made by and through us. We are creator beings at the core, and it is time to reinstate that actuality in pure and conscious ways again on the Earth planes.

At the beginning of this year, I started feeling pulled, compelled to leave where I was, in it's entirety. People thought I was crazy, but honestly if U have never felt that pull U can't begin to comprehend it. There is no, dismissing it. And the fact that I don't have a conventional Matrix approved “gainful employment” job, has had many people acting as if they have the answers on lock- “U are depressed” “Just get back out there, U haven't applied to the right places” “How many jobs did U actually apply to??”. But here's the thing, when I said I am detaching from the Matrix, that was my higher self asserting that statement, Source answered, “Ok, so we're doing this!!” And now, lol there's no way to turn around & run back to the safety net of slavery. It is what it is. All necessary “things” will be provided, somehow, someway- the Only way to experience this is to, TAKE THAT LEAP OF FAITH.

My nervous system is tired of finding ways to escape practically, only for my plans to once again be thwarted. There is but so much heartache, heartbreak and disappointment that even the strongest and most emotionally resilient of us can take, and I have reached my breaking point in my efforts to escape into what should naturally be mine in this world - which is peace, respect, and safety.

I will not spend the precious energy I have left in my body chasing money and housing. I won’t do it anymore. Not because I don’t desire, deserve, and need it desperately, but because every time I have pursued my freedom by chasing, grinding, and pursuing, I have ended up right back in the position I’m in now.

I read Solarah's Sunrise Salutations yesterday Morning and felt her words in my very core. This statement right here is exactly where I've been at for a minute already and why, I am Not playing the fucking game any longer!!

Now I have to get ready to start prepping the farm with my host family, to be as secured as possible for Milton, which I am seriously trying to mentally shove Milton back to his creators. If U didn't comprehend my last sentence, don't ask, cuz no amount of explaining will help U get it. Just know this sweet old couple don't need to get hit a 3rd year in a row. I will pop in later. Sending U All Mad Love & an Abundance of Blessings🥰🥰👑👑💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿🌴🌴