Displacement & Finding Your Way Back (pt 3)

My journey prompted by the powers that shouldn't be & their grand scale human lab experiment...

Part 2 I left off in March of 2022, right after the tragic loss of my roommate & my not thinking str8 over an offer of a new place to live because I couldn't handle returning to live in my old apartment. Had I been in my right mind when Jose asked me to move in, that would've been a quick hard pass. Being emotional doesn't leave U with the capability of making good decisions, which is exactly the reason why the powers that SHOULDN'T be, try so hard to keep everybody in a perpetual emotional trainwreck state. That way people are much easier to control. All the fear mongering, disaster “news” broadcasting 24/7, the “Everybody's a racist if they're not exactly the same as U & they're going to commit hate crimes against U,” the keep everybody separated so people cannot communicate with each other, the anyone with true factual information gets silenced, and the while U are all focused on rhe most horrific shit we will quietly poison your air, water, & food supply til you're all so fuckin sick U couldn't possibly rise up against the machine even if U do figure out what the fuck we are up to-- It's ALL part of the bigger agenda & plan!! They come for the children trying to turn them into Unisex drones who are trained to turn in their parents for noncompliance, they come for the elderly by trying to kill them all off, the rest of Us they want sick & demented hopelessly addicted to Their Drugs. There’s a war on Testosterone because they want Us ALL Docile incapable of defending ourselves, our families, our property. This is why they're trying to catch our babies early while they know nothing about Life & program them into believing the only way to be truly happy is to chop off their sack & penis. For the older generations, it's perpetual obesity, so your body produces more insulin & phyto-estrogens from the corn syrup & micro plastics, which in turn Lowers your testosterone. Also known as Chemical Castration (not their definition but it definitely is the same shit!!).

If U have been reading me for any amount of time, then U are already aware I get sidetracked speaking about the tyranny & have to reel it back in so I can get back to what I was initially speaking about. Trust me tho, this is me, lol U can ask anyone who's had any conversations with me in real live time. I Am Always Me, what U see is what U get. I’m honest, & I like to keep shit simple & Peaceful, I don't/won't do any of that people pleasing shit ever. I state facts in my bio when I say Im Real Raw & Speak Str8 from my heart & Soul. I don't even know why I felt compelled to give that disclaimer but apparently someone who's going to read this needed this message. I say that, cuz I don't usually go All out with any disclaimers in the middle of my shit but all of a sudden I felt the need to, so it is what it is.

Anywaaaaay….. back to my personal journey thru this bullshit mascarade we are currently existing in. Jose asked me to move in with him after a few weeks of talking, and I agreed even after questioning his motives (RED FLAG!! if U feel the need to question someones motives on something, that's Your Intuition telling U, U Shouldn't be doing whatever that thing is!!). I was only there a couple of weeks when I realized I had made a big mistake and had to start rethinking a strategy on next steps/moves to make. This realization came from him deciding it was a good idea for him to raise his voice at me & try to mandate how, where, & when I should file MY taxes. When I returned the favor & clapped right back, he wanted to act surprized & as if I was in the wrong. So that set the tone for the next 3 months til I grabbed a storage unit, packed all my shit in it & bounced. In the meantime, however I had the great discovery that homie was in fact a drug addict, sniffin a fuck ton of coke at every possibility. Made a whole lotta promises he couldn't & wouldn't ever keep. I’d get home from a long days work, to Concert Volume Blasting music, drinking, partying & a bunch of heads piled into a tiny 3 room apartment. People in & out of a refrigerator they didn't fill. Couldn't even wash my ass in peace cuz there was always a line for the bathroom, mostly so All the fuckin Powderheads could get their snort on!! This shit only slowed down when his 10 year old daughter came to stay with him for a few weeks. Note it did not stop, I said Only Slowed Down. I became the primary caregiver for his daughter once she arrived, so I built a relationship with this lil girl & that hurt me when I left. The day I was leaving, she came out of the room to say goodbye & was immediately yelled at to get back in the room & don't start her shit. Then he turned his focus to me & tried to act crazy, yelling & talking shit, thinking I would get scared & jump- instead I looked him dead in the eye, Smiled & Blew him a kiss without saying a word. He immediately shut up & went back in his room.

I had a Home Health client who lived in her daughters house, and since the daughter had an extra bedroom, she said she would “let me stay there while taking care of her mother.” At first everything was going good. Don't let others negative energy drag U down ever, no matter what the circumstances surrounding U are. Remain in a positive and light frequency in the knowing that this is simply another test &/or lesson, at the very least U will gain strength from it, and it will soon be a distant memory in your rearview just like everything else. While I stayed there, I was subjected to being reminded that I was Nothing more than “The Help” on many many occasions. I was profusely Thanked & then immediately berated. And actually endured grotesque perverse harassment from my client while bathing her.

In November 2022, I began working Overnight shifts in the Emergency Winter Homeless Shelter & that made shit way more difficult, due to rarely being able to sleep correctly for my Paying job. I remained determined to get back on my feet. The more difficult life felt, the more determined I was to get back up. By the time January of 2023 rolled around, I was exhausted & it showed!! We had lost about half the staff for the Emergency Shelter so I was now picking up more hours regularly. By March I was literally on the verge of losing my shit, between fighting to get sleep, working damn near nonstop, & Never actually having any time to myself. O yea & having my life threatened by a client who was legit a mentally retarded senior citizen (just made the cut at 60yo), who looked like an old dusty ass throwback of a corner boy in a late 90s rap video, all because he wanted to go outside for a fuckin cigarette after curfew & in front of other clients I had to maintain the rules. The biggest bullshit with this incident is I was going to bend saix rules & bring his punk ass outside so he could get his nic fix when he decided to escalate & act a fuckin fool, then got his panties in a twist cuz he couldn't scare me, my coworker called the cops to have him removed but I’m the one he had an issue with. He made threats against my life to his psychiatrist & my boss, but I was the one who was supposed to pursue that shit with the police. I don't go that route. So from February 1st I got off the city bus around 1130pm every nite to walk about 8 blocks into work, with this dude creepin around. Knowing full well if he popped up on me I was gonna have to stick his ass cuz he was a lot bigger & stronger than me- yes I walked into work every nite with my head on a fuckin swivel. By March I had had enough of everyone's bullshit. I started renting a crackhead motel room (damn near $400 a week- for some rundown shit that hadn't been updated since the 80s & had that old nasty stench that just never goes away), but I could finally get some sleep.

One Sunday afternoon in the end of March, with a few more hours to sleep before getting ready for work, I woke up to use the bathroom. I looked at my phone to check the time & noticed a couple of missed texts from my clients daughter. I was literally spending $1600 per month just to be able to sleep, but still returning to care for my client 3x a week like the original care plan. My client (Sunday was not 1 of my workdays for her) decided to “melt” out of her recliner & get stuck halfway to the floor. Apparently the daughter was 2hrs away at some club party & got pissed that I wasn't there to take care of her mother; cuz fuck my health & my job- why should I be allowed to sleep when U need to go drink yourself into oblivion??!! Anywho, her last text to me was threatening that she was about to put my shit outside, and to find somewhere else to live. So instead of sleeping for work, I asked the dude I was talkin to at the time to bring me to her house & I packed all my shit in the van & left. Next day after work I put most of it into my storage unit with all the rest of my stuff.

For the 1st time in months I felt just a lil lighter & I was able to breathe again. That was their loss, Not Mine. The lesson for me in all of this was to learn when to end my feelings of commitment & responsibility to another human. However I’m hardheaded as hell & I didn't learn the lesson in that instance, which became more than obvious this past springtime (just slightly over a year later) with my most recent abusive ass client.

I’m ending this chapter here and I will pick up from April 2023 in Part 4.

🌴🧿☯️💜👑🥰Until Next Time~Mad Love & Blessings to Each & Every One of U🥰👑💜☯️🧿🌴