Displacement & Finding Your Way Back (pt 6)
My journey prompted by the powers that shouldn't be & their grand scale human lab experiment...
In early October 2023 I finally started getting appointments to see apartments for rent in the small city I was already working in & in process of moving to. Honestly after 3 years of being homeless, in a roommate situation that ended very badly, renting rooms or space from other people, I so desperately wanted my own lil space that I overlooked shit that ordinarily would have been a flat out “NO.” On October 7th I went to see the studio apartment that I subsequently ended up renting. Honestly it was a Blessing for a variety of reasons even tho there was so many things wrong with the apartment itself. It was decent size even for a studio, had good light, pretty good location, and in my budget (even tho it was ridiculously overpriced as Most places are across the country at this point).
While viewing the studio the Super informed me that, “I need to get rid of this carpet because the former tenant let her pitbull piss all over it” which I could see “rings” of color differential in various spots but he just said he was taking care of it so I wasn't concerned. The walls were filthy & dingy but I wash Everything when I first move into a new apartment so I wasn't worried about that either. It was an old building, and the double hung wooden frame quarter panel windows had no window screens so I asked the super if he was installing any, to which he replied he could get me some of the “expansion” screens, so that worked for me. Then came the speakerphone conversation with the property owner, in order to secure the apartment as mine. The owner asked me when I wanted to move in, I told him the following weekend, & the Super started complaining instantly about not being able to get the apartment ready that fast because he still had 4 other apartments that he had to get ready for the following month. I told them, “1. U don’t need to worry about cleaning it because U will be wasting your time, I have OCD & I’m going to clean the apartment regardless, 2. Get me the supplies for next Saturday & I will paint it. So all that leaves is the carpet which U already said U are taking care of.” The owner tells the Super to shampoo the carpet, & instead of telling the owner what he just told me 30 minutes prior, he paused then said ok. I didn't think much of it at the time because, I was still unaware of the True condition of said carpet. I gave the Super $1400 down, got my receipt & left- Absolutely Ecstatic that I was finally getting back into MY OWN HOME, after 3 Long Years!!
First thing I did was let a handful of fam & friends (I literally mean less than 5) know that I just secured my new spot. On my way back to where I was currently staying (in my former coworkers basement) I had to wait for my connecting bus at Walmart, so I went inside & window-shopped a few items before jumping on my bus.
I texted a “friend” (a single mother of 2 small kids with a car) who I had helped (without expecting or asking for anything in return) with some basic furnishings when she got her place earlier in the year, as well as constantly taking her & her kids out to eat, and then loaned her $100. I asked her if the following week she could help me out with moving my stuff from Plainville to Middletown, so that I wouldn't have to make a 2hr trip by bus with several bags & 2 totes plus groceries. She was quick to respond that No she couldn't & on top of that she still couldn't pay me back the money she borrowed in June that she was supposed to pay back in the first week of July. Mind U we are now halfway into October. I told her Thank U anyway, sent her my Blessings & immediately removed her from my life. When my kids were lil, I took care of 3 by myself & if I borrowed money from anyone, I paid them back exactly when I told them I would & earlier if I was able. I got no respect, time, or energy in my life for a taker who don't know how to give anything but excuses. Again, Her loss Not Mine.
I mentioned that situation to a friend of mine (who I never even thought to ask for help) & she asked me for the details of my move, & told me not to worry about it she had my back. This is the same friend who also brought me to the Greyhound in May. This woman has been 100% a True Blessing in my life. This is a woman who I would literally give my life for without a second thought.
Saturday October 14th, I woke up early, made my coffee, went outside barefoot, sat on the front porch, drinking my coffee, listening to Ralph Smart Infinite Waters and watched the Sunrise. I went back downstairs to the basement, packed my stuff & cleaned the basement, then back upstairs took a shower, got dressed, & packed my groceries. The Super had texted me during all of this an hour & a half before I was supposed to meet him to sign the lease & get my keys, to postpone 2 more hours. His reasoning for this was, he was running late & the carpet needed some time to dry before it could be walked on. He lived literally 2 apartments down the hall from my studio, and in a full week couldn't shampoo the fucking carpet until the day I’m moving in!! Had to have a WOOOSAH moment for that and decided it must be that he has a 9-5 aside from managing the building, so “I’m overreacting.” As it turned out, Nope- Not Overreacting, No 9-5, Too busy drinking, getting high, & fucking around with the just turned 20yo former tenant from my apartment (U know the 1 who let her pitbull piss all over the carpet 24/7 meanwhile he’s 47yo) to do his damn job.
Anyway~ My friend comes & scoops me up, brings me to my new home, helps me carry everything upstairs, brings me a couple of (basics) housewarming gifts including an air mattress (Thankfully!! I was just going to throw a blanket down & sleep on that). One thing I want to make clear in all of this is: When U operate in a frequency of Love & U live correctly (in other words- Don't be a Douche), Spirit Will ALWAYS Provide for U!! Everything that I “GrOw” thru in life & Tell U about, don't focus on the Negative aspects of Any of my stories- Look at How much Positive shit Happens FOR Me Consistently. I tell U All sides of every scenario both Positive & Negative, but that is simply to show U accurate information. I Never focus on the Negative. We All go thru difficulties in life, some more, some less but the difficulties are there regardless- it’s Your response to the difficulties that matters. The following weekend, my oldest son & daughter-in-law came out & helped me bring all my stuff from storage & officially move in completely.
This was my lil sanctuary, my lil castle, my first Home in 3 years. The funny thing about this is there was legit so much shit wrong with this apartment, but U would never know without me showing U because I Always maintain mine. When I initially moved in, I was supposed to have painting supplies, that was a joke. The supplies left in my apartment were; a open 2/3 used 5 gal bucket of paint, the plastic paint pan liner (no pan), & a dollar store paint roller. My studio had 10 foot high ceilings, so when I told the Super I needed a ladder, he asked me for what. I immediately responded, “Because my short ass can't reach the top half of the walls!!” He said, “O I was just gonna bring U a stick for the roller” “Um but I still need to frame out the walls & cut in the corners.” The look on his face said he clearly had zero fucking clue what I was talking about, but he nodded his head in agreement while looking confused. 2 weeks later I still had no ladder so I put his “supplies” outside his apartment door & called it a day. Here's some of the things which I dealt with:
This was discussed on day 1, never taken care of by the Super, so after 2 weeks of living with this fire hazard, I got 1 of the other maintenance men to come replace it for me (I don't fuck with electrical any further than the breaker panel).
The condition of the oven, after I was about halfway thru scrubbing it, about 3 hours in.
When I finally quit- & below is the SOS pad when I was done, the oven ate it.
Under the kitchen sink- looks innocent enough as long as U ignore all the water damage in the cabinet base- then I remove the board against the back wall; now look.
And the disgusting carpet which months later (right up to me leaving in May) still hadn't been taken care of, but I also discovered was set right on top of the concrete subflooring.
Then in April I had the fabulous indoor “Rain closet”
After all of this I was completely done, and there’s actually a lot more I haven't even gone into in this chapter as it's stuff which I wrote about in other pieces. 7 months in what was supposed to be my sanctuary, 6 months in an unfinished basement, 3 months in overpriced crackhead motels, 7 months in my former clients home, 3 months in the situationships apartment, 10.5 months in the 3 roommate apartment, 2.5 months in my lil cousins apartment, 4.5 months in my sons living room- brings me back to the beginning of this crazy ass journey I've been on. Thru all of this I’ve dealt with a lot of insanity and learned a lot of lessons, steadily making progress in life and I'm not done yet. I’m honestly grateful for it all, tho some of it has damn near sent me over the edge, I’m still here, still going strong, still Living My Life & Making it just a lil bit better every single day. Here's to moving into my Next New Home & enjoying Sunrises & Sunsets at the Beach~ Coming Soon!! I’ve Earned It, I’m Worth It, I Deserve It, & I Will Enjoy It.
When the day comes that I am a world renowned author, each one of U here on this journey with me will be able to truly say, I know her. A lot of U will say, she's my friend- & U will be speaking the truth. Until that day arrives, I really wanna see All of U doing what makes U happy, that's the most important thing in this life. LIVE!! In doing so, We will affect Change for the better, the Changes We want to see!! The Changes Everyone on here speaks of almost daily. It honestly starts with Raising the Frequency. True Happiness/Love come from within- that's the Path to Changing this planet. That's why
& are speaking about Natural Law. That's why , , , , , & so many others are sharing knowledge on how to Do the internal work. That's why , , , , , , , , , , all share their forms of art with U. That's why , , , , , and so many others are sharing stories. That's also why , , , , , , , , and many many more share advice on living healthy and real news without the fear mongering bullshit. There's a whole lot more Creatives on here that I haven't been able to mention but they're all pitching in, in their own ways to better the world we live in. And most of the Creatives also are extremely multi-talented (even when they don't recognize it within themselves). U want a Better world to live in?? U want a Better Life for Your children?? All it really takes is for U to Be U & share Your Gifts with the other Humans!!What we do Not need is any more fucking self righteous Authoritarian Nosey Disrespectful indignant jackasses telling Us how we Need to Slave our Lives Away so They can Live their Lives!! And We get rid of Them by Refusing to Play Their Game. Refuse Their Drugs. Refuse to Vote in, Our Next Slave Master. Research health & Refuse to keep putting their poison in our bodies. Refuse to keep feeding money into their system. The Amish live a Peaceful Life!! U know Why?? They Refuse to Play the Fucking Game!! They Live Their Lives Happy!! Just some food for thought on how we end the Matrix & do what we came here to do, BE & LIVE HAPPY. I truly do Love, Respect, & Appreciate Each & Every One of U!!
I do ask if U have the means & are guided by your heart to do so, upgrade with a paid subscription. I can assure U there is much more to come. Mad Love & Blessings to All Y'all🥰🥰👑👑💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿🔥🔥🌴🌴
Much love, I can relate more than you know! Warrior Hugs!
This is such a beautiful, heartfelt and generous post. True words, Be the Change. Be happy, live and share. I love how you took so many creatives on here and talked about specifically what they are doing. Shows your heart and the love in this community, plus the love and respect we all have for you. Thank you so much for showing us your journey, the good, the bad and the rain closet ugly. And yes, I agree, you do deserve to have a good life, you are worth it! I'm so happy for you, it's really cool to see someone you have come to know, go through struggles and transcend. Plus the manner in which you do, with love and sarcasm. Thank you for being you. I love and appreciate you Queen!