Boundaries & Respect

So Important for Self Love

In conversation with someone recently, who I had to repeatedly reiterate my boundaries to, I was told that “having boundaries is a bad thing.” This is the first sign that someone not only doesn't respect U personally, but that they are incapable of Respecting U because they have no self respect. And throughout conversations on & off for several hours, I discovered this person really has pretty much no self esteem, dignity, or self love along with a lot of internal damage of old wounds which were never addressed or worked on but instead simply swept away because “that's in the past.” I've seen this before, far too many times & it reminds me of exactly how I was prior to really going within & doing the work necessary to being able to thrive in this life. One major difference for my personal functioning was, I absolutely never disrespected anyone else's boundaries, tho I quite often excused someone else disrespecting mine. I can say gratefully at this point however, this has changed for me. If U have been reading my work, then U are already aware that I do not wallow in the past, it is what it is, I learned from it & have since moved on. This came with a lot of work tho. U cannot simply sweep shit under the proverbial carpet & believe it's done & over with just because it's in the past & U are now ignoring it. That's how the toxicity festers.

If U have a guilty conscience reaction to any statement that someone else makes, that's the 1st sign that U need to do some internal work. The person who these conversations were with, was trying to show me why he was a good potential mate. & A lot of the lip service he gave were all the right words, however when I stated that the last 2 situationships I dealt with turned out to be closet(ed) active drug addicts, he immediately jumped on the defensive, that because he said he wanted a drink, I was probably thinking he was an alcoholic. No, I was thinking U may be an alcoholic due to your beige eyes (where they're supposed to be white- but your liver enzymes are so high that your eyes are now stained from being bloodshot far too often), coupled with the fact that U said U had a hangover from a party 2 days ago. And now your reaction to my statement was a loud clear confirmation. When I made a statement regarding the downfall of my relationship with my childrens father being because of 1 lie (that the subject matter of the lie was not the problem- the fact that he lied was), this dude immediately needed to know if it was “a lie” of not telling the truth or “a lie” of not giving information that wasn't asked for. And started this inquiry with the statement, “Ok now U got me scared.” If that's Not a Neon Flashing RED FLAG that, “Houston We Have A Problem!!” Then I don't know what the hell would be.

The biggest Red Flag tho was the sheer lack of respect for my personal boundaries & space. If I have already stated, I am not looking for a “Fucking Friend” or Any casual encounters that should be sufficient notice for any dude to back the fuck up & approach me correctly. That however wasn't the reaction or I wouldn't be writing this piece. If I said, I need to build a strong foundation of a solid friendship before we will ever jump in the bed together, don't try to insist that waiting or rushing doesn't matter. Now U don't even believe your own words- if it really doesn't matter, then U wouldn't be trying to rush shit!! And I don't know (nor do I care) what type of females U are used to dealing with, who will jump on U in less than 24hrs of having met U, but we don't play that shit over here!! Like seriously bruh, catch a fucking clue!! Then to tell me that having boundaries is a bad thing- hunny get the fuck over yourself, U are Not the last Male (notice I did Not say Man- none of said attributes are indicative of a Man, nor are they attractive) on Earth & U are Not King Ding-a-ling!! Women (again pay attention to the terminology I choose) are Not impressed with deaf disrespectful males. As well a Woman does not need another dick in her life. A Woman needs her true Kingdom Spouse her Divine Partner by her side, her Balance, her Equal. If that ain't U go home, work on yourself & stop applying for the position that U Are Not capable of fulfilling!! I raised my 3 sons, I don't have any desire on mothering my mate.

The icing on the whole shit show cake tho, was finding his chewed up gum, stuck to the tabletop, next to where he had been sitting in my room. That's just fucking nasty.

I will finish this out with, When U choose to do something for someone- Do it because U truly want to. No Strings Attached!! Don't do it because U see potential of what U may get in return. Or so they now “owe U something.” While I 100% Appreciate the couple extra days in my room & Yes that is a Blessing, it was done with the wrong intentions. Where I was honestly thinking this may begin a beautiful friendship that may turn into something even more meaningful later on, it’s now an ugly paradigm which I simply acknowledge the beauty of the Blessing it's attached to & the knowledge that I have passed the test of “Will she pay attention to the Red Flags this time??” Set Boundaries for your health & wellbeing, don't let Anyone tell U, your Boundaries are Wrong for Any reason. Don't excuse anyone's shitty behavior towards U regardless of Anything. & Lastly, Always Respect Yourself & Everyone Else. These simple acts make Life a Beautiful Experience to Have.

Until Next Time, Wishing U All an Abundance of Love & Blessings🥰🥰 Thank U for being part of My Journey💪🏽💪🏽👑👑🥰🥰💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿🔥🔥🌴🌴