Alchemical Blessings
The Only Thing That Truly Matters Is, Your Perception
Here I sit, inside a cold RV on December 25th also known as Christmas Day. I have my phone for communications, tho I've had many already today my voice has barely been used. When I awoke today, the propane heater had emptied sometime during the nite, so it was actually colder inside the RV than outside. When I stepped outside to switch the tanks, the back up was apparently a dud, as it was empty. Today began with me reading Demi’s posted Reading, before getting out of bed and it's a damn good thing I did. This Reminder was a very Necessary way to begin so I would not simply lose my shit & end up having a miserable day. It's funny too because I have Not opened my substack to read anything before getting up & starting my day in a long time, especially because I currently work EverySingleDay!! This was
post that was in place of mi café this Rising…
O did I mention, I cannot make my daily cup of coffee without propane?? Yea I don't have my lil portable camp stove with me (which literally is just an aerated stainless steel canister that I can fill with leaves & twigs to have an instant cooking fire). And the RV is equipped with a full size camp stove which runs on propane, which is fabulous when there's a working flame. So cold & unCaffeinated I got dressed for work, & went outside to feed & water the critters. When I told my host that the backup tank was empty, her 1st response was, “Did U turn the knob??” Inside my head, my Shadow Self was short circuiting a fuse, “NO ur Highness, a retarded peasant such as myself couldn't possibly think of that all by myself, Thank U for showing me the error of my ways- NOT!! WTF IS WRONG WITH U??!! WHO IN THEEE BLUE HELL SWITCHES A FUCKING GAS LINE & DOESN'T KNOW TO TURN THE FUCKING KNOB??!!??!!” Of course I kept that between us internal smartasses, because I know for a fact, she can't handle Me Being My Obnoxious Self, and simply gave a half-assed lopsided smile. I honestly find people amusing when their first response to anything is to assume Everyone else is just plain dumber than dirt- it speaks loud and clear as to who they are.
Once the feedings were all set I grabbed the 2 burner electric stove from the barn & attempted to resume the start of my day. While I waited for my lil espresso pot to boil & perk up mi cafecito, I began messaging quite a few humans whose company I enjoy, with Love, & Wishes for Blessings in Abundance. I'd really like a shower, time with my family (in person), days of true Me time, the ability to wash my clothes without having to go on a cross-country trek, and Real Healthy Food, for now I really don't have any complaints tho, because I will have All of That and So Much More- for right this minute my needs are met. By 11am the host had gone and gotten another propane tank and hooked it up. I've been in way worse predicaments and Always came back out of it All, Shining Bright like a Shooting Star. And the reality of this 3D existence is, if U are Always Comfortable, U gain Nothing, Growth is Only Achieved in DisComfort. If U let a situation get the better of U & become miserable in it, U end up with nothing but more misery. A Beautiful friend of mine, whose voice I hadn't heard in several months called me Monday afternoon as I was getting ready to head back to work. After speaking for a few minutes, she told me that she could hear in my voice a Peaceful calm, which is a significant change from where I was at even just a few months back. I know it's from the internal work I've been doing, and this is the reasoning for me being in these uncomfortable & isolating predicaments. I did a lot of internal work over the last several years, even in the midst of pure noise & chaos, but hadn't achieved the depths I have, until now. Depending how deep the wounds go, decides how deep the healing process is needed to heal. There is No such thing as Instant Gratification. Any part of U which needs healing, (and honestly if one of the 4 of U needs healing, Then All 4 parts need work!!) has to be wholeheartedly worked on, and it's going to take time. In the end of August I completed 49 years in this lifetime, I unknowingly began this journey to healing at 12 years of age when I saved myself from my biologicals tortured souls. That's 37 years of working on 12 years of wounds, and yes I created more wounds along my path for myself and others. That's the exact reason for doing the internal work. The statement “Hurt People, Hurt People” is unfortunately undeniably Accurate. Whether intentional or not, the same results are achieved. The only way to begin Healing, U Have to Decide It's Time to Put in The Work. And to be perfectly frank, Nobody else can tell U “How To”- Only U have the Keys to U. We All have been at the point of asking, “Well what does that mean?? How do I do internal work?? What do I do?? Where do I start??” Now having been actively & intentionally working on Me, I can tell U there is No blueprint to follow, because as much as we are all connected, we each have our own blueprint and the Only way to access that knowledge is by doing exactly what we are taught to run from. Get silent & face yourself.
When U can be 100% by yourself for days on end with no other human interactions, not leaving the tv, radio, or computer playing for background noise, and be perfectly comfortable, not feeling bored or lonely~ that is when U have actually done the internal work and learned to Love Yourself. Yes I desire companionship, but if it's not coming from my tru King/my Divine Partner, or another member of my Soul Tribe, then I don't want it nor do I need it.
Today did Not start off Great, not by any perspective. However, I'm not upset, pissed off, sad, or miserable in any way. I honestly feel calm and while things can always be better, I'm good. I have Peace and Love in my Heart & Soul, and those are two of the biggest Blessings U could ever have. There are quite a few Humans I do immensely Miss, however not in the sense of being sad, lonely, & miserable in their absence- I Miss spending time with them, Yes. And I Love Them All Unconditionally knowing that when I have achieved the level of internal work necessary to stabilize myself financially, I will also have the means to help them, & everyone else placed in my path for assistance.
Beautiful, soulful, heartfelt and authentic. A belated merry Christmas to you and an early happy new year. I always appreciate you for your candor and positive attitude ❤️
I can not tolerate the holidays this year for reasons you very well know. I have to pretend for the sake of family 🤍