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Boundaries are Crucial

I finally have it down to a science, lol~ Not to be confused with “The Science” cuz we all know that's a total crock of shit. No what I’m talking about is actually, truly imperative to living a Peaceful life. I’m speaking about Boundaries. More precisely, Boundaries when dealing with Narcissism, especially since this despicable trait has rampaged over the last several years to where something which was once a “far & few between” issue seems to be now at least 1 in every room U enter. There's a whole fuck ton of reasons behind this but we're not getting into any of that right now. If U have been keeping up with my journey thus far, then U are already aware that the female host from my last farm stay is most certainly a covert Narcissist. And she is where I finally succeeded in dealing with her kind sufficiently. Not an easy lesson, I've repeated it more times than I care to remember, starting with my incubator. But I finally passed the damn test & I’m quite happy that I can now move the fuck on from it.

So here's how the scene played out…

Beginning with the electrical outlet fire, which took place back on the evening of September 10th, I found myself becoming increasingly more disgusted with everything about that experience but most particularly her & her husbands reponse to a seriously dangerous situation which was also a health hazard. It was so low on their priority list that it didn't seem to even cross their minds if I didn’t bring it up, but they still expected me to be cheerful & capable of (even keeping with the same drive & desire for) working the way I did from day 1. I struggled to keep my mental stability, nevermind my physical endurance, but I did push thru it. The unfortunate reality I have discovered about myself, is that I seemingly thrive best, both Spiritually & Intuitively, when in the midst of chaos & fucked up situations.

In the week leading up to Hurricane Helene touching Florida, the hostess repeatedly caught me first thing in the a.m. with those ever so plastic, forced interactive niceties. I'd be sitting down with my fresh brewed cup of coffee, about to raise my cup to my lips for that first comforting sip, and from across the room, “GOOD MORNING!!” with a great big fake smile. To which I look up, focus my eyes on said smile & simply nod. I get an immediate, “O No, What's Wrong?!?” I silently shake my head, “Nothing” & return to the comfort, Peace, & solitude of my daily hot pure espresso. The reasons behind my minimal response are several, beginning with the Energy Don't Match, she didn't like me (I could see & feel that clearly), which I didn't take personal because she didn't like anyone, including herself. Beside the fact that I don't really give a fuck who likes me or doesn't, I've never been the needy type to worry if somebody “doesn't wanna be my friend” actually I'm perfectly good with that. Not Everyone is supposed to like U. Secondly, the minute she fained concern over something being wrong, she could barely contain the gleeful lil grin that was fighting to get out, which generally left her facial expression rather contorted. And 3rd, if U are Not part of my inner circle, my tribe, my peoples & U can clearly see I haven't had my daily a.m. coffee yet~ Leave Me the Fuck Alone, Thank U!!

The start of the day following Helene running thru Florida, I got up late due to really not being capable of sleeping thru the storm, when the RV I was in kept getting smacked with shit cuz the winds were ridiculous. While on my way to the outdoor kitchen (a good 5 minute walk from the RV, just passed the bathrooms, & on the opposite side of the farm), I was surveiling the wind damage (knowing full well I would be helping to clean up), when she stepped out from the back entrance of the store. Immediately hits me with, “What's Wrong With U??!!” I looked at her completely unmoved, 100% Blank stare. She responds, “U Don't Look Happy Here, U Look Miserable!!” At which point it occurred to me exactly what game we were playing at. I've unwittingly played this stupid Narcissistic game before. Not Today Mutha Fucker!! We Ain't Doin This Dumb Shit Again!! I Smile (my lopsided, I gotch yo ass now, Smile) and respond, “I'm Great!! U just keep catching me before my coffee!!” The look of sheer confusion & disappointment quickly bleeds over her face, as she turns with a quiet & hesitant, “O… ok.” and walks away.

SHUT DOWN!!

I Passed that Lesson FINALLY!! And No I'm Not Flexin!! It Feels Fantabulous to Finally get beyond a lesson U have been on a perpetual loop with for Your ENTIRE Life!!

I started this piece, in the beginning of October but haven't managed to finish it until today, one of the 6 drafts I've had sitting, in varying lengths, dating back to July of this year. As of this past Friday, I felt it was time to stop bullshitting & finish a few of them this weekend. After Stripe fucking up peoples money & Substacks subsequent “No Fucks Given” reaction, I've not really been too enthusiastic about being on Substack at all but I have felt the need to keep up with My Peoples here. I've even completely deleted the SS app from my phone & strictly utilize my browser for the site. I will get more seriously back into my writing again soon, however I'm still looking for alternative methods for doing so. As a general rule, if something rubs me the wrong way, I quickly lose interest, & most often will simply delete whatever it is from my life, with zero hesitation. This is the 1st instance that I'm actually fighting myself on that, and honestly it's only in keeping with “changing how I do things”~ The Very Important Theme of This Year.

Until Next Time… Mad Love & Blessings🥰🥰👑👑💜💜☯️☯️🧿🧿🌴🌴